Thursday, April 01, 2010

Gooch Withdraws From CD 6 Race

Diane Gooch, the vice chair of the Monmouth GOP and publisher of the Two River Times has withdrawn her candidacy for congress from the 6th district of New Jersey.

“I just don’t like politics,” said Gooch in a release sent by her spokesman Tony Sayegh which also had Sayegh’s resume attached, “there are websites using unflattering pictures of me instead of the glamour shots on my site.”

“Where I come from tea parties are refined gatherings that raise money for poor people. Now tea parties are unrefined poor people who think they know better then the rest of us. How uncouth! How ungrateful. I can’t deal.

Gooch said family concerns also played a part in her decision to quit the race. “Sam Thompson told me I had to start banging Frank Pallone! How can I do that given all the money my husband has given Frankie over the years?”

Gooch’s decision has left party leaders scrambling to find another rich candidate with no government experience to replace her on the lines. “We can’t nominate Anna Little, she has a mind of her own,” said one party insider, “Shannon Wright is only in the race to split Little’s grass root support.”

Gooch’s withdrawal before the April 12 petition filing deadline puts party leaders in the position of quickly having to call new conventions and/or screening committee meetings rather than to rely on a committee on vacancies to name a replacement. Spring Lake developer Anne Estabrook, who lives in the 4th congressional district, is said to be the favorite.

Click here to read Gooch's release.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahaha you had me going, I was so happy and then..... LoL

Anonymous said...

April Fool to you,too..

Anonymous said...

who's hiding the flattering pictures of Diane ?

James Hogan said...

Good effort Art, but Gooch has a better April Fool gag going on her own "website".

Today it reads "Full Site Coming Soon". Clever!

Anonymous said...

Headline: Gooch gets voted in to be president of Toastmasters International public speaking organization as top speaker in 2010 !

Anonymous said...

funny, but the joke is really on little anna.

Wayne Pomanowski said...

Art,you had me for a minute.Great spoof!!

Anonymous said...

While I understand this is a joke-it does invoke sexism and is frankly disgusting. Only a attractive woman would have a joke about unflattering pictures and banging a male politician made about her....disgusting

Anonymous said...

There's been a mistake- incorrect reporting by Art!
What Diane told Sam Thompson was- the only time she is going to f*** Frank Pallone is this November!!!

Anonymous said...

a little bit misogynistic for a joke ...even for April fools day

why we get called "stiffs" said...

Art, perhaps some need you to explain the genesis of the big "bang" Thompson-quote, then perhaps some shackles would not be quite so rattled!.. heaven's folks, loosen up a bit, it's just a damn joke!!

TR said...

Good one
You had me for a minute then i realized what day it was.

Anonymous said...

"Some friendly readers have suggested that some background on the "banging" line in the April Fools post would be appropriate. Sam Thompson uses the bang in his regular venacular to refer to going negative."

Um, OK. Or it was just a tasteless double entendre.