So let me see, Mr. Obama....

...You'd like us to hire you. 1. You never did this job before; 2. Of the last 44 people we've hired for this job, you have the least experience, in fact, you only had one year of experience doing anything any of them did when you applied for the job; 3. You have associations that, frankly, are very bad for our company, and in fact, are considered a security risk; 4. Your wife has publicly announced that the only thing she's ever liked about our company in her entire adult life is that we were considering hiring you; 5. In the job you have now, the only thing you've done so far is to sign your name to other workers' ideas, your fellow senators, and claim those ideas were yours because you "sponsored" them; 6. In your last job, aside from missing an awful lot of work, when decisions had to be made, you voted "present" over 100 times, leaving other people to make the decision -- you do understand that this is a CEO job you're applying for, where the buck stops at your door? 7. The organization you're most closely associated with -- in fact it's what you call your "experience as a community organizer", ACORN, has been undermining our human resources department by creating fake shareholders/board members to vote for your hiring, jeopardizing the very integrity of this process and the security of this company; 8. When the other person seeking this job publicly stated that he was opposed to that Freddie/Fannie project that has hurt this company so badly, you supported it and your associates even claimed that opposing it waa somehow or other racist -- a word your supporters seem to be using today to attack anyone who dares suggest you're not qualified for this position. 9. You want to overcharge all of the businesses that are so critical to our success, running the risk of losing many of them, and give the money to the shareholders, without even considering the fact that if we lose these businesses, our shareholders may not be very happy with a few dollars of handouts when the overall health of this company is tanking; 10. You expect me to trust you and that you'll follow through on all your promises to help this country and the shareholders, when you don't seem to have been honest about anything you've told us so far, including your associations with people trying to hurt this company, your past accomplishments, your early childhood, or virtually anything else you've said. 11. And by the way, tell me again why you refuse to provide a copy of your birth certificate to clear up the questions about where you were born? Now in light of the above, Mr. Obama, please tell us why you think we should hire you in November.

Thanks to the anonymous commenter who posted this in the Bible thread