Sunken City Sue said...

DISCLAIMER: This song is a parody. In no way, shape or form do we advocate any harm befalling any journalist. With or without livestock.

Click here for sound effects.

Gaffney got run over by a donkey
Walkin’ home from Trinity Election Eve.
Jim can say there's no such thing as wheeling,
But as for me and Oxley, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much Kool Aid®,
And we begged her not to go.
But she said she had a deadline,
So she stumbled out the door and left to go.

When they found her Election mornin',
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' wheel marks down her back.

Gaffney got run over by a donkey
Walkin’ home from Trinity Election Eve.
Jim can say there's no such thing as wheeling,
But as for me and Oxley, we believe.

Pokey’s headed for the pokey,
She's been nicknamed oh so well.
See her in Hotel Guadagno,
Watchin’ soaps and gettin' visits from Purcell.

It's “unsable” without Gaffney.
All the newsroom's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up the paper or send it back?
SEND IT BACK!

Gaffney got run over by a donkey
Walkin’ home from Trinity Election Eve.
Jim can say there's no such thing as wheeling,
But as for me and Oxley, we believe.

Now county’s on the table
It’s a prize that’s really big. (ahhhhhh)
And a gold and silver moolah,
Just hope Scudiery don’t call in the vig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a paper,
To a man who dyes his hair and plays with elves.

Gaffney got run over by a donkey
Walkin’ home from Trinity Election Eve.
Jim can say there's no such thing as wheeling,
But as for me and Oxley, we believe.

Sing it Captain!

Gaffney got run over by a donkey
Walkin’ home from Trinity Election Eve.
Jim can say there's no such thing as wheeling,
But as for me and Oxley, we belieeeve.