Wax On Wax Off

The Socialist State of New Jersey is moving to ban the bikini wax. The state cosmetology and hairstyling board will meet on April 14 to decide on adopting language that specifically bans genital waxing because two women complained of getting infections from the procedure.


What is the standard of proof? How does the board know that those women who complained really got waxed at a licensed establishment before getting infected?

I'm wondering how this new ban will be enforced. Will beach badge inspectors be empowered to inspect people who appear to be sans hair down there to determine if they are shaved or waxed and issue a summons for those with no stubble? Will cameras be set up in waxing salons? Will there be undercover operatives busting salons? Will the fines make up for the lost sales tax revenue? Is shaving less likely to result in infection than waxing?

How will this impact tourism on the Jersey Shore? I guess we could make Perfect Together ads for the hirsute community. Governor Corzine would be the perfect spokesperson. Belmar Mayor Pringle's newsletter should be interesting. Business will be booming on Staten Island salons, but visitors should carry their receipt from a Staten Island waxing establishment to show the badge and down there inspectors in order to avoid the fines.

Corzine's Failures, Week 2

With the short week and the end of the month rush, I almost forgot that today is Friday and time for our new feature, Corzine's Failures

Every Friday until November 6 we will have a Corzine's Failures post that will include all the previously listed failures. November 6, 2009 will be the last day of the game when we enter the final entry: "Corzine failed to get re-elected."

Last week we got off to a good start with the following failures listed:

Corzine failed to sell our highways and increase tolls 800%

Corzine failed to reduce property taxes "40 in 4."

Corzine failed to ban the bikini wax.


Corzine failed to stop dual office holding as he was too busy being the master of half measures.

Corzine failed to keep the state open, literally.

Corzine failed to control excessive pork and Christmas tree spending, Chris Christie controlled it for him.

Corzine failed to attract jobs to New Jersey, outside of Government jobs.

Remember when Corzine wanted to close Nine State Parks because he couldn't figure out a better place to drop the ax? ... then COAH was looking for "vacant land" to build "affordable houses" on, hrm.

I'm not sure what Christie's plans might be for state parks, but it sounds like Lonegan is looking to build new state parks, maybe even one in Camden...

Corzine has failed at being accountable

Corzine has failed to disclose his emails with Carla.

Corzine failed to get his Katz her distemper shots.

I'll start this week off with the following failures:

Corzine failed to have any influence over the Democratic legislature. Codey and Roberts kept running the show, and half of the 17% sales tax increase went to "Christmas Tree Items."

Corzine failed to get Hillary Clinton nominated for President

Corzine failed to get a job in the Obama administration.

Please add to the list in the comments. Feel free to consult The Corzine Times for material.

New Security Measures

Analysts are comparing the attempted terrorist attack last week to the earlier attempt by Richard Reid. Reid hid explosives in his shoes. Now airline passengers are required to remove their shoes for inspection before getting on to an airplane.

The most recent terrorist hid explosives in a condom sewed into his underwear.

The obvious new security measure could have some very positive side benefits, as passengers will naturally act to improve their health and grooming. Just as passengers have adjusted to the shoe inspection by making sure they wear nice, clean socks or have their feet properly groomed before traveling, there will be an increase in excercise, improved diets and grooming.

There will be a boom in the already thriving thong industry, as the security measures will force open a whole new market segment among airline travelers.

It is a good thing the Corzine administration did not ban the bikini wax.

Corzine's Failures

Corzine's Failures is a new MMM feature.

Every Friday, starting today, we will list Jon Corzine's failures. Everyone is welcome to add to the list. Each Friday I'll publish the cumulative list and we'll keep adding to it.

We'll do this every Friday until November 6, when we will list the final entry:

He failed to get re-elected!

Here's the beginning of the list:

Corzine failed to sell our highways and increase tolls 800%

Corzine failed to reduce property taxes "40 in 4."

Corzine failed to ban the bikini wax.

Please add your entries in the comments.

What Will He Do Now?

Governor Corzine is boxed in.

First he was going to keep New Jersey's government bloated by eliminating the income tax deduction for property taxes. He came to Monmouth County and the Eatontown residents he met with talked him out of that. Instead he said he would raise income taxes on those who make over $500,000 to 10.25%. Senate President and sometimes Governor Richard Codey said raising taxes on those high income earners would hurt the economy and that he will not go along with that. Even with Codey on board, Corzine might not have gotten the tax increase through the Senate. Without Codey on board, it is dead.

The solution to declining revenue is obvious. Families and business are doing it. You cut back spending. Yet our Governor refuses to do that. With the money he is getting from Obama, Pelosi and Reid, Corzine is still trying spend as much in the upcoming year as he is in the current year.

Look for Corzine to seek more money from Washington, cut the property tax rebate program back even further and to propose a surcharge on the bikini wax.

Let Freedom Ring

Following a public outcry over the proposed ban of the Brazilian bikini wax, State Consumer Affairs Director David Szuchman has instructed the State Cosmetology and Hairstyling board not to enforce a prohibition of the procedure and the study ways to make it safer.

I wonder how many new state jobs will be created to keep the procedure safe.